Dating and fish in the sea
I don’t want someone who looks at me like something to possess. I want to be I want to feel that deep connection when one soul opens to another.
I don’t want to be objectified and tossed aside the second a prettier face hits you up with a private message.
I didn’t enjoy Match with the hundreds of message sent to me by people I never even expressed the slightest interest in and/or whose profiles were in direct opposition to the things I’m very clear about looking for, and I went on more actual, legitimate dates with Tinder.
But this time when I went on Tinder, there were more obvious assholes and fuckboys coming up than my previous experience. The thing is that I’ve had so many people tell me that that’s where they met the love of their life.
We want to know you, the person we’re attempting to connect with, on a real level.
But instead of meeting another human who’s real, we meet just another person whose only idea of communication involves sending an old dick pic or asking us about our bedroom technique.
I have to admit that it was disconcerting to realize that most of the men in my interactions still treat women like we’re here for their amusement rather than coming at us like fellow human beings and trying to make a real connection. Instead, what passes as dating now is when you download an app, swipe right on dozens of pretty faces, engage in meaningless chitchat ranging from small talk to heavy innuendo, exchange numbers, get your first dick pic, do a little sexting, and then meet for a random hookup. We’re not writing handwritten love notes when we can just send a text with all of the handy emojis. We’re honest on our dating profiles- with our photos and our lives.
We show up looking for chemistry and connection, and whether we’re looking for a sexual connection or true dating, we’re honest about that, too.
To make matters worse, he did his best to try to determine if he would get laid if he did meet me. It was exhausting and discouraging, and it depleted my energy.
Also, I’m a single mother, and it may surprise you to know that single parents don’t have as many opportunities to be out in the dating world what with early mornings and early evenings and all the parenting responsibilities that come with it.
That’s how I found myself downloading a dating app.
The market leader is Tinder, which allows you to filter potential matches by age, sex and location only; profiles consist of a few photos from Facebook and a couple of lines of text. If two people both swipe right, they match, and only then can they talk and arrange a date.
Many bright young things prefer a newer app called Hinge.